I HATE YOU
by Lykaios Nyx
Summary: Remus explains why he hates Sirius so badly.
1. I HATE YOU!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR RELATED CHARACTERS, PLACES, THINGS, ETC.  
a/n: i found this plot bunny on a forum and decided to take it up. Enjoy!

* * *

Remus screamed as he threw a pillow towards Sirius' head. The feather pillow bounced off of Sirius' head and fell to the floor with a "**_thwap_**". Sirius didn't retaliate, he didn't do anything in his defense. He just stood there, not understanding what he did wrong and letting the werewolf get his anger out.

"Go. Away. Sirius. Just leave me alone." Remus growled out as he undone his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

Sirius sighed as he watched Remus slip into a t-shirt and slip out of his pants, leaving the young man in boxers. The dark haired boy sat down on his own bed, which was next to Remus', and waited in silence.

"Sirius, _please_?" Remus said, tears started to well up in his champagne eyes.

"Remus, what did I do?" Sirius demanded, his voice almost cracking in the middle of his sentence. "I didn't tell anyone **_anything at all_**. I kept my big gob shut this time! I was just out with Joseph and I didn't tell him about your 'furry little problem'! I've not told anyone since Snivellus! And you've forgiven me for that! So tell me what the bloody hell I did to piss you off so badly!"

Remus snapped his head in Sirius' direction, his chestnut hair swishing and smacking him in the face. His champagne eyes narrowed, the coal lashes coming together.

"Do you want to know why I hate you? Why sometimes I can't even stand to be in the same room with you?" Remus asked, the tears now falling down his cheeks.

Sirius lowered his head, the light of the moon seeping in through the window and creating a light halo on his dark hair. He felt his stomach clench up and he felt as if he couldn't breathe. Slowly he nodded his head, tears in his eyes and his heart panging from the harsh words Remus just uttered.

"Why?" Black asked, his voice no higher than a whisper.

Remus sighed heavily as he sat down facing Sirius. He picked up another pillow and fiddled with the corner of it before taking a deep breath.

"I hate you because I love you and you don't even know my name."

More tears had spilled over and onto Remus' cheeks. The werewolf had his head down, looking at the floor and his eyes were closed.

"Remi, I know your name," Sirius started quiet and serious. "As a matter of fact I just used it."

Remus clenched his eyes tightly as if Sirius had just smacked him across the face.

"That's not what I mean Sirius."

"Well then, what do you mean?"

"I hate you because I **_love_** you Padfoot and you don't even realize it! I can't stand being in the same room as you and ohh what is his name? **Joseph** is it? Because each and every time you kiss him it's like a slap in the face. Bloody hell! I don't even like being in the same room as you **_without_** Joseph because then I can't bloody well concentrate. I'm always watching the way you stick your tongue out just a bit when you're writing something down. I'm paying attention to the way your long fingers move across the Potion's table when your trying to grab something that is **_just_** out of reach."

Sirius just gaped at Remus. Remus risked a glance at Sirius and mistook the look.

"And that is precisely why I hate you. So if it's alright with **_you_**, I'm going to bed. Just leave me alone Sirius."

And with that Remus snapped his bed curtains shut, blocking Sirius' view.

The dog Animagus sat there in silence for a moment, listening to Remus breathing rhythmically. Remus obviously thought he was gone, for he had started crying louder than he had been before. Sirius stood up and started for the door. His feet were so heavy, he felt as if he were a turtle stampeding through peanut butter. As he opened the door, Sirius heard Remus sob out.

"I could never **really** hate you Siri. Never. I love you too much."

Sirius sighed as the invisible hand throttling his stomach finally let go.

_'And I really do know your name, Remus. I know it all too well. And I hate pretending that I don't,' _Sirius thought to himself as he shut the dormitory door and made his way down to the Common Room.

* * *

FIN 


	2. You Really Got A Hold On Me

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Remus or Sirius, they're the property of one JKR, which is not me. But I do own Joe...  
A/N: FINALLY! Bwahahha. I've finished it! You guys should be proud of me! I'm proud of myself! Let me just make it clear that Joe really doesn't like Remus as a friend or a person. He doesn't like him at all.

* * *

Sirius plunked down on the couch next to Joseph. The young man looked at him expectantly, wanting to know what had just happened. Brown eyes stayed focused on Sirius as the long haired young man stared at his hands. 

"Sirius?" Joseph's voice filtered through Sirius's thoughts.

Sirius's head snapped up at his name. "Huh?"

Joseph put his hand on top of Sirius's. Slowly, he caressed Sirius's large thumb.

"Are you alright?"

Sirius thought for a moment. It had always been so easy. So easy to imagine the brown eyes were more of a champagne color. So easy to picture that the blond hair was darker and longer. He glanced at Joseph. Was he alright? The young man sitting next to him was not, and could **_never_** be Remus.

"No," he replied in an angry tone. "No, I'm bloody well not! I'll be right back," he could feel his anger at Remus rising in the form of bile in his throat.

Sirius practically jumped off the couch. He took no notice of Joseph's hands on his own. He barely even nodded to the young man before stomping up the stairs to Remus.

He held his breath as he opened the door, hoping that it wouldn't make a sound. Sirius tiptoed in quietly, shutting the door and letting out the breath he had been holding. Looking around he noticed that Remus's bed curtains were still closed tightly. As silently as he could, Sirius stalked over to the occupied bed. With each step his anger seemed to grow. Viciously, he latched on the crimson curtains and wrenched them open.

Upon seeing the werewolf, most of Sirius's anger dissolved. Chestnut hair was pasted to damp, slightly freckled cheeks. Said cheeks were slightly splotched red, a tell tale sign to Sirius that Remus hadn't stopped crying. Said werewolf was cuddled up to a spare pillow and his eyes were closed, though he didn't seem to be sleeping.

"Remus John Lupin!" Sirius ground out, loud and harsh.

Remus opened his groggy eyes quickly. Sirius noted that they were slightly red and puffy. As Sirius came into focus, Remus sighed and shut his eyes once again.

"Open your eyes," Sirius demanded.

Remus didn't listen.

"Open your eyes and look at me."

Still, Remus made no move to open his eyes.

"Now, damn it!"

Remus cracked one eye open and soon the other followed. Before long, Remus was sitting up, his back pressed against the headboard and he was hugging his knees to his chest. He rest his chin on his knees, not quite looking up yet.

"What do you want?" he finally asked as Sirius sat down across from him.

Sirius looked at him, his pale green eyes narrow. The sound of a loud smack seemed to fill the room, echoing off of the stone walls. Remus's hand flew to his stinging cheek, his eyes wide.

"You're so stupid!" Sirius exclaimed, tears welling up in his eyes as he brought his hand up to cup Remus's, which still rested on the red cheek.

Sirius felt a couple of tears roll down his cheeks as took in the sight of Remus. The Animagus rubbed his thumb across Remus's sharp cheekbone. Remus slipped his eyes closed and leaned into Sirius's touch as his scarred hand slipped down into his lap.

Sirius removed his hand after a while and sat back, looking at Remus's red stained cheek. Slowly he leaned in, barely pressing kisses to the sting-heated skin. Soon, his hand was once again resting on Remus's cheek, stroking gently.

"How could you ever think that I don't love you?"

Remus had opened his eyes when Sirius started talking. He shot Sirius a sheepish look. Sirius slipped his free hand onto one of Remus's scarred one.

"Remi, I've always known your name."

Remus huffed and pulled his hand away, as well as his cheek.

"Not like that Sirius."

Sirius threw his hands in the air, snorting loudly.

"Then like what Remus? Like what?"

"You're saying that you've always known my name. But have you really?"

"YES!" Sirius exclaimed, starting to get annoyed with the questioning. "I've known your name since we started school. Since the first damn day of school!"

Remus arched an eyebrow and then replied in somewhat of an angry tone.

"Sirius, you didn't talk to me until the middle of _October_. That is _not _the first day of school."

"Damn it Remus! I'm trying here, alright? Just get to the point!"

Remus sat looking at a spot past Sirius for a while before continuing.

"Who was the first person you dated Sirius?"

Sirius looked at Remus as if he were crazy. As soon as he realized that Remus really wanted him to answer he squinted his eyes in thought.

"Arionna Hitchens, 4th year."

Remus kept quiet for a long while.

"Did you think of anyone else?" The werewolf asked, his voice small, making him seem ever more vulnerable.

After a long pause Sirius finally replied.

"At the time, no. Not really."

Remus gave him a sad sort of smile.

"Who are you dating now Padfoot?"

"Joe Busoni."

"Do you think of anyone else?"

"Yes," Sirius replied, his voice no louder than a harsh whisper.

Remus's head shot up, looking expectantly at Sirius.

"Remi, look. I know your name. I know you're here. Hell you're always in here!" he exclaimed, pointing to his head and then his hand moved to his chest and stopped where his heart would be. "Every time I look at Joe, I see you. Your name is always on the tip of my tongue. I have to bite it back every time!"

Whatever Sirius was expecting, it wasn't what he got. Another loud smack reverberated off the walls. This time, it was Sirius's cheek that was left stinging. He looked at Remus, green-grey eyes wide.

"What was that for!"

"You've know this for how long and you didn't tell me?" Remus asked, his anger painfully obvious.

"Well what was I supposed to do? Just shout it across the Common Room? Just come right out and say 'Oi Moony! I think that you're right shaggable and I fancy you…_a lot_.'"

Remus blushed at Sirius's choice of words.

"You still should have told me," Remus said, his voice quiet.

"Well, why didn't _you_ tell _me_?" Sirius shot back, both an indignant look on his face and tone in his voice.

"Because you've always had someone else! Why the hell would you want me when you could have anyone in this school bow at your feet? Besides you never really showed any interest. So tell me, what good would have come from me telling you then?" Remus finished, huffing as he fiddled with a pillow.

"Why would I want you?" Sirius asked, annoyance seeping into his tone. "Remus look at yourself! You're gorgeously handsome, smart, witty…you're _you,_ Remus. And I want _you_."

Remus looked up at Sirius, surprise etched on to his face.

"And what good was there?" Sirius huffed, his breath blowing strands of his hair all over the place. "What good was there? Only more time! More time for me to find more things to _love_ about you!"

Champagne eyes widened a bit more as Remus kept his eyes on Sirius.

"Love?" He asked quietly, as if he were afraid of the answer.

"Yes, _love._"

"You're sure?"

"Bloody Hell, Remus! Yes, I'm sure! I _love_ you! L-O-V-E. Remi, if we could, I'd want to have as many little Moonys as possible."

Remus jumped up off of the bed and practically tackled Sirius to the floor.

"Moony?" Sirius started, but was interrupted by Remus's lips covering his own.

Remus's tongue poked at Sirius's closed lips, begging for entrance to the cave that was Sirius's mouth. Sirius hands went to Remus's sharp hips as he opened his mouth, allowing Remus's tongue to snake inside. The fleshy organ stroked the roof of Sirius's mouth for a moment before it wrapped itself around Sirius's own tongue. Soon, a sort of fight for dominance erupted between them.

Abruptly, Remus pulled back.

"Oh Merlin! Oh dear, sweet Merlin!"

"What?" Sirius asked as Remus put his hands over his mouth.

"What about Joe?" The muffled voice came out from between Remus's fingers.

"Oh shit," Sirius harshly whispered as he rubbed a large hand down his face.

Sirius sat there silent for a moment, Remus still straddling him.

"Sirius," Remus urged, nudging Sirius in the side with his knee. "What about Joe?"

"I…"

Remus looked at Sirius, his head tilted to one side.

No sound came from Sirius. Remus clambered off of Sirius and ran a hand through his chestnut hair.

"Well, you'll have to tell him Sirius. Either way."

And with that, Remus walked out of the Dormitory, making his way to find something to occupy his mind.

0o0o0o0o

Sirius sat on the floor, unsure of what had happened. Why hadn't he answered Remus? The werewolf was the one he truly wanted and he wasn't so sure of why he hadn't expressed that. Especially after the episode they had just been through. Joe was a good friend, and Sirius would never really want to hurt him. But Sirius _needed_ Remus.

And he couldn't bear to be without Remus. Not now. Now that he knew how Remus felt about him. In somewhat of a melancholic manner, Sirius made his way downstairs.

0o0o0o0o

As soon as Sirius stepped off of the last stair, Joseph beckoned him over to the couch. Sirius, unsure of why he was being called over to his seemingly tired and somewhat annoyed boyfriend, complied.

"What did you do to him?" Joe asked, his tone tired and annoyed.

Sirius looked confused.

"What did I do to who?"

"Remus."

Sirius's eyes widened as he looked at the boy in front of him.

"W-what do you mean?"

Joe looked at him as if he were losing his mind.

"Sirius, he just ran out of here crying. I don't really think that he would cry for nothing. And you were mad at him…I just supposed…"

"He was crying?" Sirius asked, interrupting.

Joseph looked at him and then answered as if he were talking to a small child.

"Yes. He was practically running away from the tower. And you were just up there. Plus you were mad at him, so I just figured that you did something or said something to him."

Sirius looked at Joe a bit guiltily.

"Wekissed."

"Oh, that's all? I wonder why…" Joe stopped talking and looked at Sirius. "You did **_what_**?"

"We **snogged**! Look…I --- It's over. I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you."

Joseph looked at him,anger flashing brightly in his eyes.

"What? Why?"

"Remus ---" Sirius began.

For the second time that evening, Sirius's cheek was left red,warm, and stinging.

"I **KNEW** there was something going on between you two!" Joseph ranted as he brought his hand down. "FUCK! Lupin couldn't even keep his hands to himself!"

Sirius looked at Joseph, his eyes narrowed in anger.

"I don't understand what you see in his scrawny, ugly arse anyway! What're you doing? Just using him to get laid? Because if that's it, I'll shag you. You don't have to use the ugly ones," Obviously, Joe didn't think too much of Remus.

A sickening half crunch, half crack noise filled the Common Room. Sirius wiped a bit of Joe's blood off of his hand before addressing his now ex-boyfriend.

"If I ever, **ever** hear you---or even **think**--- that you are talking about Remus or thinking about Remus like that again, I will personally break every bone in your body. Slowly. Repair them and break them again. Do you understand?" Sirius warned in a low, dangerous tone.

Joseph nodded as he tried to stop his nose from bleeding.

"We. Are. Through." Sirius delineated, eyes flashing dangerously.

And with that, Joseph Busoni stomped out of the Gryffindor Common Room, in search of his own and someone who would soothe his bleeding and broken nose. And out of Sirius's life as well.

0o0o0o0o0o

When Sirius realized what he had done, he jumped up and down for a moment. Soon he was hollering slightly breathy, muddled up sentences that were almost completely indecipherable. Finally, he had enough sense about him to calm down. It wouldn't do for someone to come frolicking into the Common Room and see him yelling and flailing about like an idiot.

The young man ran a hand through his dark hair, smoothing it all out. Now all he had to do was go find Remus.

0o0o0o0o

Sirius skidded to a stop outside of the Library doors, hoping to the gods that Remus was in there. All of the hoping had obviously done the young Black some good, because there at the very first bookshelf, was Remus. He was flipping through a book, pretending to read, but was obviously preoccupied.

Sirius rushed over to the brown haired young man, almost tripping over his own feet on the way.

"Moony!"

Remus looked up from his book, a couple of tears still running down his cheek, although he was no longer crying.

"Moon---WHOA!" Sirius cried as he actually tripped this time, falling on the ground and skidding a few feet.

"Shh, Sirius! This is a library," Remus quietly chastised the lovely young man laying in front of him.

Sirius quickly got up off the floor and pushed Remus up against the shelf. The book that Remus had was flattened between the boys' stomachs as Sirius leaned in.

"Sirius…" Remus said, his voice a loud, breathy whimper.

"Shh, Remi. We're in a library," He countered as he pressed hot kisses to the neck before him.

Remus's knees went weak and he wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck, the book still in hand. Pale fingers coiled in coal colored hair and pulled the strands lightly. Sirius hissed in pleasure and nibbled lightly on Remus's neck, slowly moving the werewolf's shirt collar to the side.

"Siri…wait. What about Joe?"

Sirius looked up at Remus. The young man's hair was mussed slightly and he had a few red marks on his neck. The champagne eyes were half open and clouded with love and lost, and searching for an answer. Sirius leaned in very close to Remus's lips, so close that he could feel Remus's breath against his face.

"We broke up," Sirius replied before crashing their lips together and moaning at the feeling Remus gave him.

As Sirius deepened the kiss, a muffled '**thump**' was heard as the book Remus had been reading clattered to the floor.

As they broke apart panting, Remus rested his head in the crook of his neck. Every so often he would press his swollen lips to the tan column known as Sirius's neck.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah Moony?"

"Be my boyfriend?"

Sirius smiled at the young man curled into him. Softly, he pressed a kiss into the chestnut hair.

"Of course. You shouldn't have even had to ask."

Remus nipped at the golden skin presented to him before thrusting his hips against Sirius's. Sirius tilted his head back, moaning deep in his throat as Remus continued thrusting his hard cock against Sirius's.

"Mmm…M-moony…Dorm. Now."

Remus sniggered and proceeded to kiss Sirius one last time before they made their trip back to the dorm room. The dog Animagus pushed his tongue through Remus's lips and flicked it against Remus's slender organ, as Remus placed a hand on Sirius's hard chest.

Moaning softly, Remus moved his hand down tantalizingly slow. Finally, he made it to Sirius's leaking erection. He worked Sirius through his pants before the kiss was broken and he removed his hand.

"Alright, let's go," He urged as he felt his own pants tighten drastically.

0o0o0o

"REMUS!" Sirius cried as he came, shooting his load into Remus.

"Oh shit, Siri…shit…" Remus came quietly, splattering come across Sirius's stomach and his own as well.

Sirius collapsed on top of Remus as he pulled out of him, panting heavily but still pressing kissing to Remus's heated and sweaty chest.

"Remus, you're gorgeous."

"Mmm," Remus replied. "You as well."

Silence filled the room for a while before Remus let out a whisper.

"I could never hate you Sirius. I love you too much."

Remus pressed kisses to Sirius face, neck, and shoulders.

"I love you too Remus."

* * *

FIN (for real this time)

* * *

A/N: Thanks toCaptain Oz and ButterflyWings32 for their imput. AND thanks to RemusSiriusBlack because when I was reading her profile and seen that she rec'd 4 ---**FOUR**--- fics of mine, it spurred me into wanting to write the rest of this. So thank you! AND THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS! 

DROP ME A REVIEW! Pretty please?


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